Target Workplace Foundation Skills
Purpose
This is to use in the lesson
This lesson introduces students to a style of communication that will make a difference in how they are perceived in the workplace by their supervisors and coworkers. Students will “try on” four styles of communication: passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive. They will practice assertive communication as the preferred communication mode for the workplace.
Review
This is to use in the lesson
5 Minutes
Explain that today’s lesson will be focused on how taking responsibility involves using assertive communication skills. Being able to accept criticism demonstrates one aspect of a strong character. Ask them how receiving criticism in the past made them feel, and if it changed the way they acted toward the person that gave it to them. The ability to be communicative with supervisors, coworkers, and customers is another valuable quality in the workplace. Encourage students to think about what other workplace attributes may demonstrate strong character.
Learning Outcomes
This is to use in the lesson
Students will:
- State three examples of how assertive communication, as a “speaking up” technique, influences the level of effective communication between people.
- Classify the statement as passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, or assertive after hearing a work-related statement.
- Revise 10 nonassertive statements to be assertive statements.
Teaching Strategies
This is for you
- Students often need help to understand the relationship between “I” and “you” statements. Help students understand more about the relationship that “I” and “you” statements have on passive, aggressive, and assertive styles of communication.
- The lesson is enhanced if the teacher provides several examples of passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive communication prior to starting the activity.
Required Materials
This is to use in the lesson
- Flip chart or white board
- Communication styles handout (Handout 5.1)
- Paint me assertive worksheet (Worksheet 5.2 plus teacher answers) for each student
- Responding assertively scenarios (Worksheet 5.3 plus teacher answers) for each student
Vocabulary
This is to use in the lesson
Passive Communication Style: When a person gives the impression that everything is okay, even when it is not. For example, not communicating directly with a coworker, avoiding eye contact, withholding feelings, and maintaining silence.
Aggressive Communication Style: When a person states how they feel and think without considering other people’s feelings or points of view. For example, communicating with put-downs, sarcasm, and an air of superiority around coworkers.
Passive-Aggressive Communication Style: When a person appears passive on the outside but is really acting out anger in a subtle, indirect, or behind-the-scenes way. People who communicate in a passive-aggressive style are usually upset but want to hide their anger. For example, letting a person or group know you’re mad at them without telling them directly by giving them “the silent treatment” or verbally agreeing to do something, but knowing that you are not going to complete the requested task.
Assertive Communication Style: When a person communicates with confidence and sensitivity. For example, being able to decline a request from a coworker without making them mad; often, the individual includes a description of the reason for their actions.
“I” messages: Statements containing “I” that are used to express opinions, thoughts, or feelings owned by the individual. These statements tend to represent statements of ownership by people who are taking responsibility. For example, “I have a hard time waiting in long lines and being around lots of people.”
“You” messages: Statements containing “you” are used to express opinions, thoughts, or feelings that pertain to the speaker’s perception of the individual or their characteristics. These statements tend to represent statements of whining and blaming by individuals who are not taking responsibility for their behavior. For example, “You and your shopping malls make me sick,” or “You made us late because you’re so slow.”
Handout 5.1
PASSIVE
- Try to ignore the problem. It will go away.
- Indirect, no eye contact
- Nonconfrontational
AGGRESSIVE
- In your face!
- Whatever I say is right!
ASSERTIVE
- Firm yet sensitive
- I understand that you are mad, but can we begin to make things better?
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE
- I will appear cooperative while I purposely do things to annoy and disrupt.
- I will secretly get even with you.
Activity 5.2: Paint Me Assertive (15-20 minutes)
Activity 5.2 introduces students to the importance of “I” statements and allows them to practice as a large group, identifying communication styles.
- Display the “Communication Styles” handout or overhead and define passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive styles of communication. Have students think of additional qualities associated with each communication style and list the qualities on the board or the flip chart.
- Explain how “I” statements and “you” statements affect a conversation between two people. Assertive statements generally contain “I” statements and are not as threatening as “you” statements. People tend to be less defensive when they hear a person use an “I” statement and tend to become defensive when they hear “you” statements.
- Read statements from the paint me assertive worksheet (Worksheet 5.2).
- Have students decide as a group which style of communication is exemplified by each statement.
- Ask students to come up with an assertive statement for each statement on the worksheet. Have each student complete the worksheet as the group talks about each statement.
Worksheet 5.2
Directions
- Identify each statement as passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive.
- Decide how to make the statement assertive if it was not originally. Remember that assertive statements tend to be more “owning” statements and sound much less like blaming or whining. “You” statements tend to be more “moaning” statements. Assertive statements tend to reflect a measure of sensitivity to the person on the receiving end.
Employee to supervisor: “You’d better tell me earlier if you want me to work on weekends.”
Answer: Aggressive
Assertive example: “I am willing to work weekends, but I would appreciate knowing sooner.”
-
Employee to supervisor: “I think it’s about time that I get a raise.”
-
Supervisor to employee: “You need to make arrangements to change the time of your parole meeting. If you can’t make it, we’ll look for someone else.”
-
Employee to supervisor: “Do you always blame me because of my criminal past?”
-
Coworker to coworker: “Okay, I’ll cover for you one more time.”
-
Supervisor to employee: “You need to listen to what I am saying!”
-
Employee to supervisor: “Forget it! You’ll never believe I’ve changed and don’t commit crimes anymore.”
-
Employee to supervisor: “Okay, I guess I know what you mean.”
-
Coworker to coworker: “Whatever you think is okay. I don’t care, anyway.”
-
Coworker to coworker: “I get sick and tired of making all the decisions!”
Worksheet 5.2 - Teachers Answers
Employee to supervisor: “You’d better tell me earlier if you want me to work on weekends.”
Answer: Aggressive
Assertive example: “I am willing to work weekends, but I would appreciate knowing sooner.”
-
Employee to supervisor: “I think it’s about time that I get a raise.”
Aggressive
Assertive example: “Can I talk to you about how I can improve my work to get a raise?”
-
Supervisor to employee: “You need to make arrangements to change the time of your parole meeting. If you can’t make it, we’ll look for someone else.”
Passive-Aggressive
Assertive example: (employee to supervisor): “I have traded shifts with Joe so that I can make an important meeting that can’t be rescheduled.”
-
Employee to supervisor: “Do you always blame me because of my criminal past?”
Aggressive
Assertive example (employee to supervisor): “I’ve made mistakes in the past, but I have learned from them, and I’m working really hard to do a good job for you. Do you have other suggestions for me?”
-
Coworker to coworker: “Okay, I’ll cover for you one more time.”
Passive
Assertive example: “I don’t feel comfortable covering for you.”
-
Supervisor to employee: “You need to listen to what I am saying!”
Aggressive
Assertive example: “These instructions are important, and it would be helpful for you to pay attention and write them down.”
-
Employee to supervisor: “Forget it! You’ll never believe I’ve changed and don’t commit crimes anymore.”
Passive-Aggressive
Assertive example: (employee to supervisor): I’m sorry if you believe I took that, but I did not. I’ve paid the price for my former mistakes, and I won’t do things that could get me in trouble again.
-
Employee to supervisor: “Okay, I guess I know what you mean.”
Passive
Assertive example: “I need you to explain it one more time.”
-
Coworker to coworker: “Whatever you think is okay. I don’t care, anyway.”
Passive-Aggressive
Assertive example: “I’m sorry, but I have to disagree with you.”
-
Coworker to coworker: “I get sick and tired of making all the decisions!”
Aggressive
Assertive example: “I would really like to have your opinion on this so we can make a decision together.”
Activity 5.3: Stand Up for Yourself and Respond Assertively (20 minutes)
Activity 5.3 allows small groups of students to practice generating assertive responses to workplace situations they may encounter.
- Form teams of five students (or adjust team size based on your class roster).
- Pass out Respond Assertively Scenarios Activity 5.3
- Have each team member select a different situation and demonstrate an assertive response for other team members.
- After all team members have contributed responses, report back to the large group with examples of assertive responses to each scenario.
Worksheet 5.3
Situation #1: Marie has been working as a sales associate for three days when a coworker tells her, “When our supervisor isn’t here, we take an extra break in the afternoon.” This statement bothers Marie. How could she respond to the coworker in an assertive style?
Situation #2: Mario has received the employee of the month award as a tire repair mechanic three times this year but has not received a promotion. Mario saw that a coworker who had been nominated for the award only one time was given a promotion and a raise by the supervisor. What should he say to his supervisor?
Situation #3: Britney was approached by a manager from a different company and asked to come to work for higher pay. She has been employed by her current company for two years and is on good terms with her coworkers and manager. Although she felts obligated to her present employer, she has some pressing financial needs at home. What could Britney say to her present manager?
Situation #4: Jamaal is in his first week on a job. Several coworkers approached him during the break and invited him to get high with them. Jamaal knows that he would get random urine analyses from his parole officer and doesn't want to start an old habit—yet he wants to be liked by his coworkers. What could Jamaal say to his coworkers?
Situation #5: Tyra is working at a food stand. A customer dropped their food and asked for a new order. Tyra noted that the meal appeared to be half eaten. What could she do or say to the customer?
Worksheet 5.3 - Teachers Answers
Situation #1: Marie has been working as a sales associate for three days when a coworker tells her, “When our supervisor isn’t here, we take an extra break in the afternoon.” This statement bothers Marie. How could she respond to the coworker in an assertive style?
Assertive Example: “I’d rather keep my sales up.”
Situation #2: Mario has received the employee of the month award as a tire repair mechanic three times this year but has not received a promotion. Mario saw that a coworker who had been nominated for the award only one time was given a promotion and a raise by the supervisor. What should he say to his supervisor?
Assertive Example: “As a triple employee of the month, I believe I’ve earned and am qualified for a promotion. When our department is able to grant promotions, would you keep me in mind?”
Situation #3: Britney was approached by a manager from a different company and asked to come to work for higher pay. She had been employed by her current company for two years and was on good terms with her coworkers and manager. Although she felt obligated to her present employer, she had some pressing financial needs at home. What could Britney say to her present manager?
Assertive Example: “I have been offered a position at company X that pays higher. I really like working for this company with you as a manager, but I need the extra money to make ends meet.”
Situation #4: Jamaal is in his first week on a job. Several coworkers approached him during the break and invited him to get high with them. Jamaal knows that he would get random urine analyses from his parole officer and doesn't want to start an old habit—yet he wants to be liked by his coworkers. What could Jamaal say to his coworkers?
Assertive Example: “No thank you. I don’t smoke.”
Situation #5: Tyra is working at a food stand. A customer dropped their food and asked for a new order. Tyra noted that the meal appeared to be half eaten. What could she do or say to the customer?
Assertive Example: “I am sorry that your meal was dropped, but our policy is that, once the customer has started to eat the meal, we no longer replace the food. However, I can get the manager if you would like.”
Check for Understanding
This is to use in the lesson
In your current setting, where could you use owning statements?
- What makes assertive communication the most effective style of communication on the job?
- What are the characteristics of an employee you know who uses assertive communication?
- How are “owning” statements on the job an example of an assertive communication style?
Practice Activity
Think about a scenario where you can use assertive communication before the next lesson. What outcomes could potentially come from it? Could using assertive communication change how people talk with you? Why or why not?
